Authenticity

What is the number 1 rule you don’t compromise?

Well mine is authenticity.

This wasn’t always the case though. In the begining, like anyone just starting their career you want to say yes to everything and we want to fit in. In fact I was even told what to wear when I started in a big 4. Yap, suit. I had just started, I had no money to spend in suits but you had to follow the rules, you had to fit in.

Everyone is working until late? You stay late

Everyone laughts at the same jokes? You laugh too even if you don’t get it.

Soon enough you’ve blended in and you’re like everyone else around you. I know a lot of people that believe they have many selves: the one they are at home, the one they are with their friends and their professional self and normally they don’t mix in.

Can you imagine how exhausting this must be? I think probably after my first year working I’ve started to realize I was working far too hard so I had no energy left to try to hide who I really was. As I started to have more comfidence in myself I just dropped it completely and I am who I am. I say what I believe in (even if that’s not the popular thing to say). There is freedom in that, a lot of it in fact. I practice the same rule at home, I hide nothing, I don’t filter my wording and I don’t expect my husband or my daughter to have to filter what they tell me because it might hurt my feelings or I might get offended. If they can’t be their true self at home where can they?

Note: I don’t like Apple and not a fan of Steve Jobs (yes, I know one of the rare ones) even if I recognize all the amazing things he did. But I do like this quote a lot

But why does authenticity matter in the office?

To the individual, it’s the level of energy spent in trying to camuflage and blend in. That energy can be better used in coming up with good ideas to tackle problems or drive innovation. Don’t undersestimate the level of mental effort required to measure every word you say, how you speak, how you blend in. It’s a lot! I actually faced this at uni, because I was coming from a smaller city and my parents were middle-low class and most of my colleagues were from posh schools and privately educated. I hated it! Not that I hated them, but I hated the fact being myself was a disadvantage and I couldn’t really blend in.

Also let me say I come from a more priviledged background where my race or my background was never an issue and less subject to unconscious bias. I know for a lot of people choosing to be authentic might not even feel like a choice. But if we all start to be more authentic and show different voices and opinions can be shared and are welcomed, it will empower others to follow suit.

For this very same reason I don’t wear makeup and I feel quite strongly about it. It’s part of what I believe in and I’m not going to change it even if I had a million people telling me it matters a lot in the office and you should dress for success. It doesn’t align with my values. So, no!

Also, I sing in the office if I feel like it and more important I do say what I believe in even if my opinion is likely not to be popular. If I feel I have to voice what I’m feeling, I will, even if that might get me in trouble. (please note I’m not advocating anyone to be rude or insult people. This is about voicing your opinions in a constructive manner if no one else is voicing them. You will find a lot of people were feeling same as you but no one had the courage to say it out loud.)

If you find that being authentic in your company is leading you to trouble I would challenge you to consider if you are in the right place then. I know it might be scary to change in the current environment, but watch out for opportunities and if you get one, get out.

So what’s in it for the company?

As per above, as I wrote in the diversity post, the company will have a lot of energy at their disposal to use for innovative projects or even thinking on how to optimize existing processes. Diversity is crutial for evolution, for us as a species and the same is relevant for the organizations too.

Leaders need to give the example and not just say what they are expected to say. Together with Empathy, Authenticity is crutial too. Leaders will also benefit from all the points above! More energy saved means it can be better used in making better decisions for the company too. You will find your employees will relate to your empathy and pay more attention to what you say because it’s also what you do in your every day action. Authenticity helps to build trust, and without trust no relationship can survive.

Further reading

• https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_be_more_authentic_at_work
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/nathanpeart/2019/12/11/authenticity-at-work-why-it-matters-for-millennials-and-how-it-can-improve-your-bottom-line/?sh=78ed0bcb2f75

When you don’t break, you break

I receive this article a few times this week (from different colleagues) and I guess it probably says a lot of what almost 99.9% of us are feeling.

If you haven’t read it already please do. As a short summary it highlights the importance of taking breaks (which we all should already know about), or in essence you’re the one who breaks.

In the world of covid, all of us are working from home and with that it meant 5 minute coffee chats were replaced by 1h meetings. We are simply having meeting overload. And if you end up with far too many your brain can’t really have the necessary breaks to recharge. Here’s the picture from the article:

My personal story

Given I’m a project manager working with people accross multiple locations I do end up having a ton of meetings. On average I’m between 10 to 14 meetings a day! I end up being dragged in a lot of meetings in the capacity of SME as well. Whereas I’m protecting my team from too many meetings, I’m not protecting myself at all. I have huge meeting fatigue (despite me implementing all the rules I shared under show your calendar who’s the boss).

Also I am in a really stressful project at the moment, and what the meeting fatigue above is adding to is that I am just exploding in meetings where I feel incredibly frustrated that the right things are not being followed. This Friday I received a ridiculous email which took my stress levels throught the roof. Given I had blocked my calendar I went for a walk (and also to get my daughter’s school uniform). On the way in I was still fuming and feeling really stressed out, but on the way back I was feeling a lot better.

I have also tried to go back to mid day meditation. When I was pregnant (and due to the stressful nature of my work), I ended up using one of those meditation apps and during 3 years I did it every single day, so now trying to incorporate quick breaks to just breathe in and out.

My take on the breaks

The article advises for breaks in between meetings, but I would rather plug all the meetings together and then manage to get a 2h slot of uninterrupted work. I find that on the few occasions I manage to sit down and focus on a piece of work and complete it, my brain feels happy and I feel good about it. 45 minutes and 15m break allow you for a comfort break but I would never get any work done. Although, this is really specific to my own case I guess.

My ideal day would be something like this: start by looking at my calendar, scan through the emails to see if I received anything critical overnight, then get 2h uninterrupted work (after breakfast), plug in a few meetings. Lunch break with a quick walk outside, come back for more meetings and then another 2h of completing work and preparing for the next day.

So really, find what works for you but ensure you get good quality breaks in your day, otherwise you’re the one who breaks and no one will thank you for it.