Time out

No, I’m not talking about the magazine nor what we tell the kids when they are naughty. I’m referring to time out work (or whatever is stressing you out).

For some reason we live in an environment where we are expected to work at full capacity (or more), all the time and always be smiley and perfect. We can’t deal with negative emotions at all and we just tend to avoid them or hide them far far away so they can never be found.

Bad news is, we are human after all. We can’t be perfect – by nature we are imperfect – we can’t climb the tree (organizational tree), be perfect husbands / wifes, be perfect parents, perfect friends, perfects whatevers. Something has got to give, as blunty as that.

We all know this right? But why can’t we speak about it? I bet it’s way easier to speak about other tabu-like topics such as sex than it is to ackoledge sometimes we just need time out. I’m yet to see someone asking for time-out before they reach burn-out.

Well know I have: me! Yap, no shames, no guilty, no nothing. I was not feeling myself nor in a good place mentally so I had to ask for the unthinkable, and I’ve asked for time out.

• Do I feel a weaker or ashamed I’ve asked for time-out? No!
• Do I feel this will jeopardise my value as an employee? No!
• Do I worry what my colleagues will think of me? No! (and I’ve told my team I was taking a day off because I was not feeling mentally great)
• Do I think in fact I feel stronger after having the courage to just voice it? Yes!
• Do I feel I did the right thing? Absolutely

I know I am priviledged that I work in a place where I can ask for time-out. But why is this a priviledge though? It shouldn’t be! We accept we need time off if we are sick (at least most places do). But why do we still struggle so much at discussing more openly about mental health?

Some places are discussing about it, yet there’s rarely an emples from the top about recognizing our falibility: we are just human! It’s ok not to be ok, it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, it’s ok to feel tired. What is not ok is not to stop to recognize you just need some time out to reset and clear your mind. If you believe asking for time-out will have such negative impacts in your company I would urge you to consider to find another job (as soon as the opportunity arrives).

So just take a moment to reflect where you are right not and what do you need. If you feel overwhelmed, tired, too stress to cope with what you have on your plate, just ask for time out. Take a day off and go for a walk, binge on netflix, whatever you need to clear your mind and relax.

Other articles:

• How to speak with your boss about anxiety (here)
• Another one here
• When you’re boss is secretely thinking about quitting (here)

I don’t trust you therefore I need to see you

Seriously, how can there still be managers out there that do not trust their employees if they can’t micromanage them? Who has even time to micro-manage?

Once upon a time prior to covid, it was quite common for people to believe that if a resource was working from home it’s because he / she was slacking and not being nowhere productive as in the office. It always comes down to trust and what you fear.

As if it wasn’t obvious, every single word here is based on my own opinion.

Anyway, I have indeed work with people that would slack from home and do very little, but let me tell you a secret – in case you didn’t know – you can be in the office pretend you are busy and in fact deliver close to very little! If you don’t believe your team is delivering, you should have a serious conversation with them to see why is that, and last comes to worst fire them (or get them moved to another team). I’m nowhere near an advocate of the american style of just firing people without having proper conversations and explore different alternatives. But like any marriage, if the relationship doesn’t work someone needs to move on.

If this isn’t clear already: I HATE MICRO-MANAGING

I hate being micromanaged, and fortunately throughout my career (mostly), I always had a great degree of freedom. I have no problem being sent somewhere else if people don’t trust me. But I can’t stand micromanagement. So I hate applying it too. I like to be able to trust my team and them coming to me for escalation when they need help. If the work is not being done on time, then we sit down and have a conversation about what’s going wrong and what can be done instead.

And why is that micromanagement is so relevant for the story of working from home versus forcing people into the office?

Well, you have seen some statements of some companies that really want everyone in the office. And this to be sits behind old school thought that employees that are not seen by their “boss” are simply not doing.

Good article on what happens to companies that force employees to return (when they could be flexible) here

Seriously, why on earth would you force your team to come to the office right now? First of all, we are not out of the woods yet (I don’t care about the 19th of July rule, precaution people, precaution!).

Many studies have been published that not only people get the work done, they are even more productive. Most people I have talked to are in fact working longer hours. They get some flexibility to deal with things like the kids are on quarentine (again!) and they end up blurring the lines between online and offline working. There’s always the last email to be sent.

A few articles here:

• Forbes
• Harvard business review
• Nice infographics from Deloitte (if you don’t know that already, I’m like the kids, pictures first, text after)

Seriously, why? I would say managers who feel the need to micromanage should go on coaching courses to address their own insicurities and what’s driving them to micromanage. Good article here.

If you want to retain the best talent, you have to offer flexibility to get flexibility back. As binary as that.

Would love to hear your own stories or views on the topic.