Mental Health week

Over the last few years talking about mental health has been more prominent, which was quite helped by having major celebrities opening up about it. For instance I recommend James Arthur’s documentary on BBC – Out of our minds (you need tv license for this). I found it really relevant as it’s from a male’s perspective and unfortunately there is an internalized stigma in relation to talking about any mental health issues. Men don’t cry, men do men up but it’s a narrative that it’s been pretty harmful over the years.

Like we have physical health, mental health is even more important because if the mind is not in the right state it can trigger a series of physical issues later on for many reasons:

• If your mind is not in the right place you will start having unhealthy behaviours, like struggling to sleep, not eating well, not exercising
• Any increased stress will trigger your fight or flight response, which if sustained for longer periods of time – say over the years – it will start to impact your organs (good article here)
• It will lower your immune system given the above and make you more prone to catch any viral / bacterial infections that might be going around
• If anything happens to you, you will be weaker to fight back and raise back up

So overall, it’s a pretty good deal! It is important and there should be absolutely no shame in talking about it. As Brene Brown says, dare to lead from a place of vulnerability.

What it means from a leadership perspective?

I’m sorry but it’s far more than a few random yoga days in the office and the odd newsletter here and there. Without empathy you will loose your employees, or in a different way, if they don’t bring their best self to work because they are overworked and exhausted, I doubt they will be able to drive ROI to your shareholders. As it seems that all that matters these days is the return for the shareholders, well here’s one that is worth keeping an eye on.

If word comes out, it would become a reputational risk, both your clients, investors and future talent would avoid working with you and instead they will find a similar company where they know mental health is engrained in the culture and not just something which is “promoted” just to tick a box. Depending on the industry there could even be a regulatory board that could investigate you and fine you for it.

And don’t get me started on the “pizza rewards”. No, pizza won’t cut it for compensating employees for working many weekends in a row and crazy hours. If you want to reward your team, protect them and do all you can to avoid having people overworked.

Like any relationship, if they feel their leadership has their back and they can be their best self, they will do amazing & innovative things which will help you be at the front edge of innovation.

And keep an eye on this, new generations are seeing the impacts of workism on their parents and they realize that’s not what they want, so to retain the future talent you need to survive in the age of AI, you really have to rethink how you treat your employees. They are an asset not a liability. It’s all in your hands to turn around that balance sheet.

What can you do as a leader or line manager?

Every single person who is responsible for someone in the organization has a role to play. Even colleagues play a role here. Be humble and dare to be vulnerable. Here’s an example, during covid times there was a point where both my personal circunstances and work led me too close to burnout. I just didn’t had the energy to carry on as I was. So what did I do? I called my line manager and explained the situation, I told him I just needed a few days to reset and be back stronger. My line manager didn’t even blink, he had my back and I knew it was genuine.

What did I do next? I didn’t just setup the usual OOO, I spoke with my team. On our team meeting I told them I would be away because I wasn’t feeling well mentally and I really needed some time off to reset and breathe. It was important to me that my team saw my example (as their line manager) talking about it and saying it’s ok, it happens to all of us. It doesn’t make me any week, just makes me human. I asked them to look out after each other, if they see anyone too stressed out, to have their backs. To date, they are still an amazing team that support each other and feel happy to be there.

So a moment of vulnerability became a moment of strenght and a moment I am extremely proud of. Can you imagine how powerful this could be if every single person was brave enough to be vulnerable and say I don’t feel great (no need to disclose the why, it’s up to you) so I’m going to take care of myself. Especially if it’s someone above you. Until you walk the walk all you say is a bunch of empty words. If you really want to make a difference – and we all have the power to do so – dare to be humble, to listen, to be vulnerable.

On the other side of the coin, I had someone coming to me very close to burnout (similar situation as mine, where it was a time of too much work and problems at home). I did sit down with the person and asked him to take all the time he needed, that I would find someone to do the critical items he was doing so that he could focus on himself (it’s up to you as a line manager to ensure you have a contigency plan to cover if anyone in the team is sick or needs to take unexpected time off). Being prepared to listen and offer a plan that would help him made a difference. I couldn’t use a coach stance here (if you want to learn more about the coaching stances check here) and let him figure it out, because the most important thing was to be sure he knew I had his back and at least he wouldn’t need to worry about work.

What you can do as an employee

The most important point is awareness. You need to be aware of the state in your mind and recognize the early signs that you need to change direction. Don’t ignore them as it will be easier to recover the earlier you start (like any physical illness too). There are some expected signs – for instance check here but each person is different, so you need to be able to recognize what your ones are.

Prevention – You won’t be able to prevent everything, life is unexpected so even for those who are mentally fit, there could be a big rock on the road that makes us all stumble. However, what is in your control take care of yourself.

• Establish and protect your boundaries – I wrote about it in the power of saying no.
• Exercise – exercise has the obvious physical benefits but it’s also amazing for the mind and a great form of self care. A lot of people have an allergic reaction to the word exercise because we would typically link it with hitting the gymn for hours. It doesn’t have to. Just find your groove and get moving. From a mental health perspective, going for a walk in your favourite part can be more beneficial that spending 1h in a close gymn. Go for a dance with a friend, or a swim in the ocean. Find what works for you and keep it going.
• Food – Again another form of self care that also impacts your physical health. You don’t need to be a trained chef to prepare food which is good for you. Eat the rainbow, add some seasonal veggies with protein and keep it going. I would say the best way to ensure you eat well is to take the time to plan in advance and do the shopping in line with that plan. The worst is really on a busy mid-week day having to think what to eat, however if you already took the time to think about it beforehand it should be a lot easier. There are many youtubes and recipe websites which you can reach out for inspiration. Doesn’t have to be exotic. Go to your local shop (or online) and buy fresh / frozen raw ingredients and get going.
• Rest – So underrated, but rest is key. Find opportunities to rest on a day to day perspective. Some might want a power nap (I’m not good at those), a 20m reading a nice book by the window to decompress. Whatever it is, block in your calendar a moment to let your mind rest.
• Sleep – A good night sleep is a superpower, it’s the best medicine you can give your body and mind. Protect your sleep as if it’s sacred because it really is! If your kids wake up at 05 in the morning, then go to bed as early as you can. Maxime your changes for sleep, even if that means the kitchen is a mess or there are things that weren’t done, but don’t compromise on your sleep. Also try to make it as consistent as you can (wake up and sleep time) as that helps your internal clock to regulate. Avoid heavy meals, alchoohol and sugar which will impact the quality of your sleep. You could read Why we sleep by Matthew Walker for some inspiration.
• Talk about it – Finally, reach out to a close friend, your family, a work bestie or even a charity – like https://www.mind.org.uk/ . Don’t think you have to face it alone, so many others are struggling to. It’s ok not to feel ok, it’s ok and encouraged to reach out for help. Who knows, once you get back up in your feet you might be in a position to help others going through the same as you just did. The more people talk about it, the less lonely others will feel and that in itself is a great step towards better mental health.

Any other ideas you would like to share? Feel free to reach out 🙂

The power of saying No

Ah No! That little word we learn around when we are 2 years old and are told by our parents that we are just a terrible 2.

Yet it’s such a powerful word despite having negative connotations and one we need to re-learn how to use all over again. Go in front of the mirror and practice with me: No. Not a but, not a maybe, just a No.

But why is it so hard to say no?

Let’s face it, we are people pleasers. We evolved by being next to others, having each others backs against predators or other enemies. Belonging to a community was part of our survival, it’s wired in our brains. So it’s not easy. Worst of them all is to say no when everyone around you says yes.

Say you get a request on a friday night to work over the weekend, if the first person of the team says yes, that’s it, the rest of you will feel cornered into pulling one for the team. You don’t want to be the one saying no, unless it’s something really major like a family funeral or your kids birthday. All of you will be upset about it, because who loves being called last minute to work when you were planning to rest? Even if you had no plans at all, well there’s one you didn’t had: work!

We avoid hard conversations – and that includes saying no – because we don’t like conflict. It’s not comfortable and we want to belong. Many of us all assume – with some evidence – that if you say no you are limiting yourself in your career growth. What if it’s not quite like that? What if you might end up being respected for it?

Establishing boundaries

The first step is to recognize what your boundaries are. What are your non compromisable slots / actions? Is it that you want to take the kids to school or want to start your day with some exercise? Or rather that after 17h30 you really need to spend time with your family, cook dinner and eventually unwind yourself? Just identify what those are and a) add them in your calendar and b) communicate to those that could impact them what they are.

The more specific you are the better, e.g. every weekday I want to run from 07h to 08h and that includes any prep time before / after running. Or maybe it’s not every day and just tuesdays and thursdays.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

Trust me, you cannot rely on common sense for people to know what your boundaries are. I guess whereas everyone can accept that being called at 03a.m, 07a.m might be ok for some but not for others. So the key here is to communicate. Be as clear and assertive as you can regarding your boundaries. This is valid with your family, friends and at work too.

Work wise, this would be a really good topic for your 1 on 1 with your line manager. If you don’t have them, then start to schedule them. If you receive requests which you don’t like, the fault is not only on the requestor but also on you for not making it clear what’s acceptable and what’s not. Most companies will have a code of conduct, and in some countries even specific laws (like in France, where it’s against the law to call employees after hours (here) – we seriously have a lot to learn from them). But as we are all unique, so our boundaries. So if you want to avoid disappointment and high levels of stress I would make them all clear.

I would go as far as also share them with your colleagues, in the coffee break you can say how taking your kids to school really makes you happy and it’s a non compromisable slot for you, or playing football with your friends thursday night. If you are willing to share them, you will find others will too, in turn making it easier for you guys to protect each other. Ah I won’t book that call with Steve as it’s thursday and he’s going to football, lets do friday morning instead.

Don’t be afraid to say No

For every yes you say, it’s a sequence of No’s you are saying. If you stay late in the office you will miss dinner with your family and your rest. Is it something you are willing to “sacrifice”? Yes it’s nice to say yes to people, it feels good as just discussed but how bad does it feel when you compromise your boundaries and over time, might end up with burnout due to saying yeses to everyone but to yourself?

So don’t be afraid to say no.

Say No is one of the best tools for self-care. Is it against one of your boundaries? Then say No. If you’ve invested the time in communicating what is not compromisable, then saying no should be a lot easier. Yes there might be the odd exception when you might end up saying yes, but it can’t be the rule.

Someone who has the courage to say no will be respected, because we ALL struggle with it after all. Your line manager has the same problem too, believe me. We all do. So if you say no and it’s clear you are doing so to protect your boundaries, you will be respected. If they still argue that you have to do x, y and z and don’t respect you, then it’s really time for you to find some other place. Most people though, would understand and be able to find a compromise somewhere.

I have to admit I’m really with Gen Z on this one. We just keep on saying yes again and again, and in turn we are boiling like our friend the frog in the pan. It’s hard, it’s itchy but if you don’t protect yourself no one will. There will always more work, more to do’s that demand your time and attention. How much are you willing to sacrifice from your mental health just so you don’t have to say no?

I do believe in the power of every single no. It will protect you and others will be encourage to do the same. Maybe it will shift organizations to understand that we are not robots and if they expect excellence and delivery they have to respect the employees too. If you are exhausted and in burnout you cannot give your best self nor resolve problems. You might break to the point of no return and might not even get a thank you back. So yes give your best, feel proud of your achievements every day but don’t forget to take care of yourself, even if that means using a good old fashioned: NO.

Quiet quitting

After the last 1 year ish of great resignation, we are reaching the phase of quiet quitting.

What is quiet quitting?

Well in few words is doing just the bare minimum expected of your role to keep afloat. No more chasing the carrot and no putting of extra hours.

sourced from: https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/slang/what-does-quiet-quitting-mean

Is quiet quitting good or bad?

Well, as everything in life depends on the perspective.

From the employee angle

Again depends on the perspective. What is the reason behind it? Is it to search a more balanced life and be able to focus on other important milestones outside work? I don’t think this would be a bad thing. In fact I do believe we should all search for a more balanced life. In the last few years most of us were unable to really turn off from work as work and home merged together as under the same roof. We tended to work much longer hours and reach a special burnout, where we felt overwhelmed by the whole circunstances, not knowing when it would be allowed or safe to have “normal life” again, plus ending up longer meetings, longer hours. Is it bad to reassess that maybe enough is enough and establish some boundaries? I personally don’t think so.

However, if this is coming from an angle of disappointment in one’s role or career, well not so good. The reality is we need motivation to pack those hours, even the expected 8h. For most of us, there is a really high insecurity about the next few years ahead and don’t even attempt to look into your energy bill. For those that didn’t took advantage of the great resignation now it’s starts to become too late. Too late to risk to go into a new role when security is all that matters: can I pay my mortagage? Can I afford to warm up my house? Can I buy the food we need for the family? In the balance of it all, people will be more willing to face another Monday (or dragging through it) than risk becoming unemployed.

From the companies point of view

Why is your team quiet quitting? Why don’t they feel energized to come to work? Are you giving them opportunities for development and growth? Do you actually care if they succeed? The reality is while there were a lot of people moving about, it’s quite expensive to train new people and get them up to speed. If your existing team on the ground is just ticking the boxes just to go by another day, you will soon enough face a loss in terms of creativity and new ideas which you will need to face upcoming times of uncertainty. The cost of not doing anything will be much higher than try to fix the problems at the source. You might not win the first battle, but you might be able to win the war.

Food for thought

Ultimately I’m a firm believes that most companies would benefit of a good “Marie Kondo” round of decluttering. There are processes and technologies which could be improved, meetings that could be cut. With people returning to the office – at least on a hybrid basis – there is also opportunity to foster those energizing opportunities and get them to think about ways to improve the team’s performance. Leave them room to think and raise their ideas.

Also revisit how accomplishments are being done at your company. Raise your hand if there’s always an element of: “these team was amazing because they worked every single weekend to get this done.”

Why did they had to work on the weekend to get it done? What’s failing? Those are the pressing questions to be asked. It should be: “this team did an amazing job and they managed to logoff at 17h00 to be with their families.”

Whereas some positive stress is needed I think we’ve passed beyond all of that. There is quite something quiet quitting is telling us, and that is perhaps is time to think once and for all how we work together. As leaders you are responsible to ensure you have a healthy team that feels energized to contribute their best ideas for the company to continue to develop. After all, companies are nothing more than a collective of employees, if all of them start to quiet quit there will be no bonus for anyone either. Long term we’re all dead.

Here’s a good article: https://www.bamboohr.com/blog/working-less-more-productive

Return to the office

I’m pretty sure most of you have seen this viral video already, but I’ll share it anyway

Hands up if you feel like this dad! I certainly do!

Why does it feel so hard to be back into the office?

We got used to work from home and work with comfortable clothing. While we are social creatures, we do adapt pretty easily, so we’ve managed to adapt to be able to hide ourselves. Even with the meeting here and there on camera, we didn’t had to pretend to be spot on at all times. And this could be all the way from working on our comfortable clothing (dear PJ’s I’m looking at you), to not having to hide the tired look from your face.

I know there’s a lot of people out there who would love to be back into the office and to the hustle and bustle, sushi takeaways for lunch and all the lot, well I don’t. Well, not on a regular basis that is.

If I go back to the office – and I am so lucky I don’t have to return right now – I will struggle to take my daughter to work, I won’t be able to have lunch on my table with my husband (even if it’s just 15m). I won’t be able to give my daughter a hug as she comes from school and I won’t be able to get so much s* done at work either!

I know a lot of people are having to return even if on a flexible basis not because their work always demands that to be the case but because there’s still a lack of trust on the employees (as I wrote here).

I will actually be in the office this month for one random day (mainly to see if I can find my shoes and the stuff I left in the office and because I’m curious to know how it feels like to commute back) so I can write all about it another day.

I do hope somehow we move forward and drive towards a new flexible future that works for everyone (I wrote some of my views here).

Happy Sunday (because there’s no happy Mondays).

Time out

No, I’m not talking about the magazine nor what we tell the kids when they are naughty. I’m referring to time out work (or whatever is stressing you out).

For some reason we live in an environment where we are expected to work at full capacity (or more), all the time and always be smiley and perfect. We can’t deal with negative emotions at all and we just tend to avoid them or hide them far far away so they can never be found.

Bad news is, we are human after all. We can’t be perfect – by nature we are imperfect – we can’t climb the tree (organizational tree), be perfect husbands / wifes, be perfect parents, perfect friends, perfects whatevers. Something has got to give, as blunty as that.

We all know this right? But why can’t we speak about it? I bet it’s way easier to speak about other tabu-like topics such as sex than it is to ackoledge sometimes we just need time out. I’m yet to see someone asking for time-out before they reach burn-out.

Well know I have: me! Yap, no shames, no guilty, no nothing. I was not feeling myself nor in a good place mentally so I had to ask for the unthinkable, and I’ve asked for time out.

• Do I feel a weaker or ashamed I’ve asked for time-out? No!
• Do I feel this will jeopardise my value as an employee? No!
• Do I worry what my colleagues will think of me? No! (and I’ve told my team I was taking a day off because I was not feeling mentally great)
• Do I think in fact I feel stronger after having the courage to just voice it? Yes!
• Do I feel I did the right thing? Absolutely

I know I am priviledged that I work in a place where I can ask for time-out. But why is this a priviledge though? It shouldn’t be! We accept we need time off if we are sick (at least most places do). But why do we still struggle so much at discussing more openly about mental health?

Some places are discussing about it, yet there’s rarely an emples from the top about recognizing our falibility: we are just human! It’s ok not to be ok, it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, it’s ok to feel tired. What is not ok is not to stop to recognize you just need some time out to reset and clear your mind. If you believe asking for time-out will have such negative impacts in your company I would urge you to consider to find another job (as soon as the opportunity arrives).

So just take a moment to reflect where you are right not and what do you need. If you feel overwhelmed, tired, too stress to cope with what you have on your plate, just ask for time out. Take a day off and go for a walk, binge on netflix, whatever you need to clear your mind and relax.

Other articles:

• How to speak with your boss about anxiety (here)
• Another one here
• When you’re boss is secretely thinking about quitting (here)

Authenticity

What is the number 1 rule you don’t compromise?

Well mine is authenticity.

This wasn’t always the case though. In the begining, like anyone just starting their career you want to say yes to everything and we want to fit in. In fact I was even told what to wear when I started in a big 4. Yap, suit. I had just started, I had no money to spend in suits but you had to follow the rules, you had to fit in.

Everyone is working until late? You stay late

Everyone laughts at the same jokes? You laugh too even if you don’t get it.

Soon enough you’ve blended in and you’re like everyone else around you. I know a lot of people that believe they have many selves: the one they are at home, the one they are with their friends and their professional self and normally they don’t mix in.

Can you imagine how exhausting this must be? I think probably after my first year working I’ve started to realize I was working far too hard so I had no energy left to try to hide who I really was. As I started to have more comfidence in myself I just dropped it completely and I am who I am. I say what I believe in (even if that’s not the popular thing to say). There is freedom in that, a lot of it in fact. I practice the same rule at home, I hide nothing, I don’t filter my wording and I don’t expect my husband or my daughter to have to filter what they tell me because it might hurt my feelings or I might get offended. If they can’t be their true self at home where can they?

Note: I don’t like Apple and not a fan of Steve Jobs (yes, I know one of the rare ones) even if I recognize all the amazing things he did. But I do like this quote a lot

But why does authenticity matter in the office?

To the individual, it’s the level of energy spent in trying to camuflage and blend in. That energy can be better used in coming up with good ideas to tackle problems or drive innovation. Don’t undersestimate the level of mental effort required to measure every word you say, how you speak, how you blend in. It’s a lot! I actually faced this at uni, because I was coming from a smaller city and my parents were middle-low class and most of my colleagues were from posh schools and privately educated. I hated it! Not that I hated them, but I hated the fact being myself was a disadvantage and I couldn’t really blend in.

Also let me say I come from a more priviledged background where my race or my background was never an issue and less subject to unconscious bias. I know for a lot of people choosing to be authentic might not even feel like a choice. But if we all start to be more authentic and show different voices and opinions can be shared and are welcomed, it will empower others to follow suit.

For this very same reason I don’t wear makeup and I feel quite strongly about it. It’s part of what I believe in and I’m not going to change it even if I had a million people telling me it matters a lot in the office and you should dress for success. It doesn’t align with my values. So, no!

Also, I sing in the office if I feel like it and more important I do say what I believe in even if my opinion is likely not to be popular. If I feel I have to voice what I’m feeling, I will, even if that might get me in trouble. (please note I’m not advocating anyone to be rude or insult people. This is about voicing your opinions in a constructive manner if no one else is voicing them. You will find a lot of people were feeling same as you but no one had the courage to say it out loud.)

If you find that being authentic in your company is leading you to trouble I would challenge you to consider if you are in the right place then. I know it might be scary to change in the current environment, but watch out for opportunities and if you get one, get out.

So what’s in it for the company?

As per above, as I wrote in the diversity post, the company will have a lot of energy at their disposal to use for innovative projects or even thinking on how to optimize existing processes. Diversity is crutial for evolution, for us as a species and the same is relevant for the organizations too.

Leaders need to give the example and not just say what they are expected to say. Together with Empathy, Authenticity is crutial too. Leaders will also benefit from all the points above! More energy saved means it can be better used in making better decisions for the company too. You will find your employees will relate to your empathy and pay more attention to what you say because it’s also what you do in your every day action. Authenticity helps to build trust, and without trust no relationship can survive.

Further reading

• https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_be_more_authentic_at_work
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/nathanpeart/2019/12/11/authenticity-at-work-why-it-matters-for-millennials-and-how-it-can-improve-your-bottom-line/?sh=78ed0bcb2f75

Competitiveness in the office and the role of parents

Warning: it might be a controversial topic

Competitiveness – possession of a strong desire to be more successful than others.

Oxford Languages

Have you notice there’s more and more competitiveness in the office? Well, way more than all of us would there too admit. Not all competitiveness is bad though, a good healthy those ensures we all want to do our best and in turn, the company also gets better.

Source: https://www.mtievents.com/blog/healthy-vs-toxic-competition-workplace/

But in more than healthy doses, you end up with a toxic environment where no one trusts each other and you will believe your colleagues will stab your back if that is what it takes to get into the top. You end up with employees overworking and some passing the point of burnout.

In western countries we are now: me, me, me. We all want to be special and be better than the one next to you. We compare everything from the job title (sometimes more than the money itself), to the number of likes and who seems to get it all. Breaking news: it’s not by being individual we’ve succeeded in our evolution!

But why are we getting more and more competitive? Let’s start with kids. Yes, that’s right kids. From the moment parents discover they will be getting a child they are already dreaming if their little querubim is going to be the next Mozart, or the next Einstein and I believe some parents expect all at the same time!

I’m not kidding if I say even with things as silly as an easter hat parents go clearly extreme to ensure their kid’s one is the best (when it’s meant to be about you having fun with your kid doing something together, at least that’s what I believe it is about). Then they bombard the kids with classes of everything and the world from swiming, to piano lessons, horse riding, sports and they complain they are too tired. I wonder where in the agenda it fits pure simple playing? Even my 4 year old gets obsessed with winning all the time even without any encouragement from my side to win anything!

Source: https://story.motherhood.com.my/blog/tips-kids-science-interest/

Even in order to get to good schools you need to be top of the top, so no wonder that, by the time the kids are going to uni they are obsessive students who depend on study drugs. Maybe I’m showing my age here, but I remember going to uni was not just about getting a degree but also embracing the last few years before facing work.

I remember when in a big 4 a group of analysts (that’s normally their first or second year), they were dressed full of expensive brands and they would do whatever it took them to be noticed by the senior leadership.

Some do believe this works because only the stronger survive in the end, but if you foster an environment where no one can trust each other, you are losing the economic maxism: “The whole is bigger than the sum of the parts”. We can do more if we work together, but we will only genuinly collaborate and work together if we trust each other (at least on a professional level).

So yeah, parents have a huge role in all of this to ensure the future generations can manage a good dose of competitiveness but without going extreme.

How to stay sane while WFH

Welcome to the world of working from home. We should all be experts by now given it’s been more than 1 year right? Some people are looking forward to be back in the office and have human interactions again while others are more than happy to continue like this.

From my side, I had already worked from home quite a lot in the past prior to becoming the new normal, especially as I used to travel weekly so the Friday was from home and sometimes I would try to squeeze in a whole week of working from home. After having my daughter I felt the need even more but I was in a project where I had to come up with a million reasons why that day I needed to work from home and let me say that was extremely frustrating. I see the world more goal oriented, either you deliver or you don’t. For all I care people could be working from the beach as long as the goals are met. I know a lot of people will totally disagree with me on this.

Ok, I really want to eleborate a bit more here. I do believe if companies give you flexibility – e.g. if you need to work from home providing your goals and those of your team are not impacted, then you can – then you will also end up giving flexibility back to the company – e.g. cram in weekend work due to a very important deadline. They can’t be one sided only otherwise you’ll just end up with frustration. If you don’t trust the people on your team to be working while at home, then they shouldn’t be in the team, should they? (scrap this point if the employement laws make it next to impossible to get rid of someone even with valid reasons).

Anyway, no matter if you had experience working from home, if you prefer to be in the office or at home, when suddendly all of us were home it impacted us all big time (and for those with kids at home: you guys are superheroes).

Before I carry on and because I love memes, here’s another one

For more memes check here

So how do you keep sane if you’re working from home?

Idea 1 – Maintain a routine. You would have one if you were going to the office right? You would live the house give or take at the same time, and return back home at the same time. So the same rules are valid at home as well. Decide what you want to do with your commute time in the morning, e.g. you might want to sleep all of it like I do now, you could do half / half and wake up earlier to have time to enjoy a morning walk so you are by your desk when you would normally be in the office. You should reverse the slot to have your food – you would eat in the office wouldn’t you? So ensure you block your calendar for eating – refer to my show to your calendar who’s the boss for more tips on this – and also define when you will stop your working day.

I think it’s the stopping most people struggle because they don’t have to commute back home and then home and work just blend in as one and the same where you are still constantly checking emails. Well, don’t. Just define a time when you will be stopping – except emergencies – and stop it.

Idea 2 – Find ways to make a clear cut between when you’re in working mode vs at home – It’s so easy to just roll from bed and start working immediately but this means your brain doesn’t have the time to shift from resting time into completely work mode.

You can always do like this guy here (now a meme)

Note: I’ve googled this one, but don’t know who owns the original picture and it’s so good!

Ok, maybe not like this one, but the idea if you do something that allows your brain to move between states (the state where you were sleeping so well and now you have to face work). If you could get dressed and go for a quick walk around the block before turning on the pc that would be great, but it can be as simple as having a quick shower and getting dressed, then stopping by your local coffee machine (in your kitchen) and make your favourite coffee and then turn on the pc. On Lockdown 1.0 I was doing morning yoga before starting my working day, by lockdown 2.0 (given it was winter) I had given up all my energy so just do the coffee bit. Before I start working I also open all the curtains and windows to let the light in before turning on the pc. I check a few emails and then will have breakfast before coming back to meetings as this is something I did a few times in the office – arrive at 07, check emails, and get breakfast at 07h30 downstairs.

Once you stop working the same is necessary. I stop far too late so I can no longer go for a walk outside (I do the walk to take my daughter to school in the morning), but I just shut the lid of the pc and go to the kitchen. The moment I live my desk I know I’m done and I won’t be coming back to this desk until next day. On the weekend I put my personal laptop on top of the work one so I know even if I’m sitting on the same desk, I’m doing non work stuff (like writing this post).

Idea 3 – Do breaks! You would do breaks to speak with your colleagues or to get another coffee, so why not do the same at home? I do reserve slots on my day to chit chat with my colleagues, sometimes we even do camera content. The current favourite is to show who has the funniest background. I can’t recommend this enough, but try to connect to people and reach out to them to ensure they are ok.

Idea 4 – Find “a space” that will be your working area – When lockdown started, I didn’t had a desk. My husband already worked from home for a few years so he had the office and no space for me so sit and place my pc. So my office for a good 4 months was my daughters IKEA chair and I would have the laptop on my legs.

Eventually I ended up buying a small desk and moving some furniture around so it would fit in the living room. I know the concept of having an office in your home it’s something which most of us can’t really accomodate, so just find a corner in the house where you can fit a small desk and a comfy chair so you can work. If it’s the kitchen table (because no space for even the tiniest desk) then ensure you get a comfortable chair for your back. I currently have a corner of the living room which has my desk and a frame on top of the desk and I have a plant too. But if you’re spending so many hours, make it comfortable and accessorize it to your taste. You can even put some shoes around like you would in the office (or not).

Idea 5 – Make the most of it! – If you are not in meetings you can have your favourite songs playing in the background and you won’t be disturbing your colleagues and no need for headsets, you might even squeeze in a quick dance! Do you need to make the laundry? Then just go for it. Comfy clothing? Yes bring it on.

Idea 6 – Let go of any perfectionist idea – There’s no time for it and you’ll have to compromise somewhere, so just accept what is key and what needs to stay behind and not be done, because no one can have it all, no matter how many books say “here’s 5 leaders that have it all”, they don’t.

Finally I would take the time to think about what you believe the new normal will be and what you would like to maintain even when we return to normal life. For me it was already clear I wanted to work regularly from home a few days (prior to know this was going to be happening) and now I’m convinced this is what I would like to do so I can take my little one to school and can help out with dinner (which I never did in the past during the week).

Also, I used to use my commutes to read books, so I’ve decided to shift that to the evenings before falling asleep and quite happy to have done 17 books already from January to now.

So what’s your new normal? Whatever it is, stay sane.

Finishing with some home office ideas

Sourced from https://kaylasimonehome.com/blog/tiny-home-offices-that-rock-and-my-own-home-office-space

Sourced from: https://www.digsdigs.com/33-cool-small-home-office-ideas/

Sourced from: https://www.digsdigs.com/33-cool-small-home-office-ideas/

Below the stairs office, Idea by Grillo Designs

When it’s time to make a change

Inspired by the change of seasons, was thinking about when it’s time to move on. Most people just think that moving on means that what we had before was bad, like a failed relationship and time to move on, a tiny house? time to move on. But does it really have to be just about leaving bad things behind? Well, not always.

Thinking of my own career, I have been quite lucky over the years that I never left because I was in a bad place or a in a bad team, but mostly because another opportunity popped up. This is certainly true for the biggest changes I had:

• Was contacted by a London company when I was still in my home country and the first question that popped in my mind was: well, why not? So I’ve packed my bags and just moved. Was it easy? No way! Not to mention it was quite expensive to move. All the savings I had accummulated up until that moment were simply gone with paying hotel rooms, deposit for the house, flights and other moving expenses. Also my other half moved with me without having a job. It was really hard but honestely the best decision I ever did.
• Then I moved because a friend sent my cv as he was hoping I would be flying less, working from London more and working less hours. I did stop flying indeed but not really the travel. I will confess I did regret this move quite a lot. I really liked where I was but looking back I knew I was in a breaking point. It was a matter of time, I had to change.
• The last time I moved, and it’s almost been 4 years now, was because on my first day back from my maternity leave I did a coffee stop to chat with my to be new boss. This was the moment I’ve said goodbye to consultancy firms and went to industry instead.

So indeed for me there was always a pattern which was always about opportunities popping up and me saying yes. This is a very priviledged position to be in, I have to recognize that. However it got me thinking a lot about the topic.

What is the point you start to feel comfortable in your seat? I mean we all like to be cozy and know the people you work with, it brings a sense of belonging and stability but sometimes from a career perspective it means you are no longer doing new stuff which is key to your own development.

Maybe worth saying I’m writing this with the view of personal development and not necessarily thinking about the career growth. Following from the previous post, this is a different angle of exploring Ikigai, Where else could you be thinking about using your skills to bring you a new angle into your work life (and maybe even personal) and where you could also bring a fresh mind to a different team?

Recently in a coffee chat, one of our senior leaders said that she was trying to speak with different people (at her peer level) working in completely different teams to have a better view of what else is done within the organization and for herself to have a better view of what she could be doing and what else she could learn. And I thought, this is actually a really good idea!

I do remember when I was still graduating from uni and I had no idea what I wanted to do. My first internship was at the HR department but because I was good with technology I’ve ended up helping to implement the internal sharepoint. At the time I really wanted to explore marketing and I applied for a few positions, but where I’ve landed was in customer relationship development in a huge technology firm. My boss back then told me I would be a great fit for consultancy, so that’s what I did. I’ve sent my cv to one of the big 4 to see where it would take me. Given my past background in technology I ended up in the technology arm of the firm. Even there, on my first year I was helping the team to produce user guides for all the different areas, as part of that I’ve ended up doing testing and ultimately it gave me a good view within that area of what I could be doing. I think I was the only one of my peer group who ended up having a choice of what I wanted to do next! After that I’ve managed to never do the same thing twice and I guess that’s why I never really abandoned consultancy because each project is different.

But now I’m missing back the days where I could just experiment completely different things to have a better sense of what I wanted to do. I’ll be totally honest, I still don’t know! Yes that’s right, because I know there are so many things I haven’t yet tried I don’t know what else is out there I can try and maybe end up liking.

So really the question you should be asking yourself, maybe for a smaller step, is what are other teams doing in your company? Is there anything you could try? Could even be as simple as speaking with your line manager and find a few hours to help a completely different team so you can grow a particular skillset. I keep on telling my own team, if there’s anything you want to try just let me know and we’ll work together to ensure you get a few hours so you can do it. I don’t think they take me seriously though. But if you don’t try how do you know? I just seriously can’t understand people that stay 20 years or more doing exactly the same day after day. Yes, it’s comfortable I know, so is my sofa and I don’t spend 24h there.

Just because the office is the office, it doesn’t mean you can’t make it fun for you, and surely learning something new and prooving you can do it is a good healthy challenge. If it goes wrong you can always go back to what you were doing before.

Ikigai @ The Office

First let me start by saying I’m a huge fan of Japanese culture, from Kaizen (continuous improvement), to the great sense of community where everyone feels proud of what they do because it’s all important to the community (not just yourself). If I’m feeling stressed out I always try to close my eyes and return to the place I felt most at peace, and that was a Zen garden in the outskirts of Kyoto.

There have been many trends and inspirations from Japandi to japanese food and Marie Kondo. I was chatting with my team this week and I’ve said a few times that I believe the western world has lost a sense of purpose and even mastery (and my mastery I mean purposefully wanting to continue to improve a particular skillset). Do you wonder why the japanese people live for so long? A possible explanation (along with lifestyle choices) is related to Ikigai.

I first discovered Ikigai 1 or 2 years ago (I completely lose track of time these days) through the book below.

This book is available at Amazon here, at Watersontes here and at Foyles here

The book mainly focus on how they apply Ikigai – or one’s purpose – to live better and longer and the more I think about it the more I believe this is very relevant for the our office live as well. Not just for us as human beings but for the organization as a whole.

Because I’m a firm believe a picture is better than words (and same as the kids I focus on the pictures first and if I don’t get it I will read the text after) see below.

In summary Ikigai is about finding that sweet spot on what you love, you are good at (or with some training and mastery you can improve) and that the world needs. It’s all about what makes you wake up in the morning and feel this is what you want to be doing because it has a purpose, not just for you but as a contribution to society. It’s what would make you love Mondays (if such a thing is possible).

Most people – and again please note I’m contextualizing people working in offices – go to work to get money. Let’s face it, we need it. But when is the point where we say I have what I need, I’m contended therefore I can focus on what I trully enjoy doing and maybe dedicating some of my time contributing to a bigger purpose. We get carried away that we need more money to buy more stuff, because stuff gives us status and likes, but once you get them you have to work get harder to get more, more and more. How do you end up? Most of us, just plain miserable.

See this concept of me me me, look at me I’m a special snow flake is recently new and very western. We evolved by being part of a group and I think that’s where the magic of Ikigai begins.

How do you believe that, if you as an individual worked out what you’re good and can do, but also thought about how you and your team can continue to evolve together to make things better for everyone? It could be organizing everyone to tackle a small charitable project (e.g. painting a local school, arranging a garden outside) and then applying your learnings back into the office? You would feel more connected, you would feel you have a purpose, that the company you work for genuinely wants to make things better. Wouldn’t that be better? Would you feel less moody on a Monday morning?

What we get is this sense that you and you alone have to work harder to be noticed, to then get promotion and then it doesn’t even matter if you feel it has a purpose, as the purpose if to fulfill your own ego. I can’t believe for a second that in the end this is even beneficial for the organization. Soon enough people burn out and at some point they leave and with every person that leaves is a small portion of the companies reputation that gets damaged. As I’ve written a few times, one day you are the employee next day you might be the client.

The question we should all be asking is do you want to wait until retirement to be doing the things you love doing and that make you smile? Is there anything you can do right now in the role you have at your company to make life easier for you and those around you? If you are totally miserable with your job, I would seriously consider living and reassess why you’ve stayed for so long and I would sit down and try to find what else you could do to reuse the skills you have and find a new job where you will be able to continue to pay your bills but do something more fulfilling.

No company will ever benefit from an employee who’s miserable, this person cannot be at their best no matter how many hours you put on. No company will benefit from an environment where everyone is stabbing each other to grow up in the hierarchy.

And no, not advocating everyone to resign right here right now because I’m sure there are things you can implement now. For instance I take a great sense of fulfillment by ensuring my team enjoys working together and that everyone feels respected and that their voice is being listen to. I enjoy when I am able to share my own personal experiences to someone more junior than me so they can relate and take their own lessons out of it (some would call it mentoring). If you are into sports then why not create a sports team in your group? Arts? Same thing. Don’t restrict what your work is to the deliverables you have to achieve day in and day out or what your oulook tells you that you need to be doing. Find what you can implement right now to make you part of something bigger where all of you will benefit from it, find your own ikigai.