Let’s make it clear, not insulting anyone here for as tempting as it might be sometimes.
I’m talking about the Budhist term “Monkey Mind”. From wikipedia below:
The psychological components of the “mind-monkey will-horse” metaphor are Chinese xin or Sino-Japanese shin or kokoro 心 “heart; mind; feelings, affections; center” and yi or i 意 ‘thought, idea; opinion, sentiment; will, wish; meaning’. This Chinese character 心 was graphically simplified from an original pictogram of a heart, and 意 “thought; think” is an ideogram combining 心 under yin 音 “sound; tone; voice” denoting “sound in the mind; thought; idea”.
A lot of self-help books will at some point talk about the monkey mind. But why does it matter in the office context? Well quite a lot.
Do you find yourself really anxious and overhelmed? I can tell you that I do more often than I dare to admit. And it all comes down to my monkey mind entering a kind of panic mode – and releasing a ton of adrenaline that no caffeine can fix – into my brain.
The Monkey mind is no different that a badly organized meeting where everyone is talking on top of each other and you can’t make sense of what’s going on, but in this case the “people” represent your thoughts and your worries. When this happens you will feel umbalanced and even more stressed which in turn is like feeding your monkey bananas, it will crave for more and more and go even more wrestless.
When the monkey mind is out there loose you can find yourself doing things you might regret or even have no recollection of having lost control. It won’t do you no good really and you might end up in burn out.
So how do you control it? Let’s face it, we all worry, we can’t make worry go away, it’s here to stay. Worry can come from the most smallest thoughts like do I even fit in my office clothing? Am I forgetting anything from my to do list? All adds up. So while we can’t get rid of all anxiety, we can for sure find ways to deal with it so your head feels more relaxed.
Some things that work for me – and as you can tell I’m no expert and there are tons of books out there that can explain this better than me (some are utter bananas…. you take your pick).
Breathing
Sometimes it can be irritating when someone mentions breathing as you will involutarily focus on your breathing when we do it unconsciously. But it does help. In the past I’ve managed to hide myself in the bathroom to block my mind from all the noise (both outside and in my head) and just focus on some breathing. There are tons of techniques out there but I use the one a clever midwife told me to when I was having a panick attack. It goes like this: you do a long breath during 6 seconds, you hold it for 6 seconds and then you exhale for 6 seconds as deep as you can go. You can go on as long as you need to.
My daughter also has a meditation about feeling frustrated which is about imaging a birthday cake and blowing out some candles. I would recommend you doing this away from everyone as people might freak out if you blow next to them.
Exercise
Any form of exercise will do. I’m not talking about hitting the gymn necessarily – although this can do wonder for a lot of people – but can even be as simple as move away from the computer and go away for a walk outside until you feel better. If you have to leave a meeting before you were meant to, then leave. Just go for a walk until your mind feels clearer. Walking for me walks quite well if I’m really irritated. If you prefer a run then go for a run. Keep on going until you feel you are back in control.
Chores
Oh yeah, it works for me at least. If you are home and need to do some laundry or wash the dishes, then do it. It does wonders when you have to focus your brain on a physical activity. Bonus tip you get the chores done so less to do at the end of the day.
Do something you enjoy
Could be anything from singing or dancing to your favourite sing, play with the kids for a bit, chasing the cat, doing a puzzle. Whatever rocks your boat and might calm you down.
Focus on what you can control and do 1 task at a time
Once you have done 1 or more of the tips above, the next step is focus on what you can control. If you can’t control it, let it go. Let it be someone elses problem and focus on what you can control right now. Focusing on a smaller task you can achieve will give you back a sense of control. If this means you need to avoid a few meetings by all means just do. When I finally have the chance to start and finish a task I feel a lot better.
At the end of the day you need to find what works for you. No matter how many magic numbers are mentioned out there, you need to find your 42.